Friday's Appointment

I wanted to thank everyone for your constant prayers. We had our appointment on Friday and physically I am doing great. The tests confirmed that it was an infection that took our sweet Alexander. This is extremely rare since the amniotic sac is intended to keep out bacteria, but for some reason it did not for me. According to the tests run on Alexander (there are still a few more results still pending) he was a completely healthy baby boy. This brought me both tears of joy and sadness. I find comfort in knowing that he was a healthy, perfect baby boy, in some way it validates even more his short life, but it also cuts even deeper knowing that this rare case of infection took the life of a perfect, innocent child.
To answer a few of those open-ended questions...

1. Could this have been prevented?
No, they do not know how this happens, why it happens, or how to prevent it. It is simply a "fluke" thing that is very rare.

2. Why didn't they catch this?
Due to how rare this is and how quickly it moves there was nothing pointing them to this. My crazy week of traveling, illness, and business explained all my symptoms and Alexander, along with everything else on the monitor looked perfect Tuesday morning.

3. What if i would not have gone into labor?
If they had suspected and tested me for infection there would have been nothing they could have done to stop or post pone labor. If they would have discovered the infection before labor set in they would have had to put me into labor.

4. Future children?
As far as they can tell it is highly unlikely that this will affect my ability to conceive or carry a perfectly healthy baby. For preventive reasons i will have some blood work done and be sent to a high risk doctor in a few weeks. The dr. basically just wants to get a second opinion on the situation to ensure that they would not do anything differently so whenever we are ready to have another baby we will be prepared.

Overall it was a very bittersweet appointment. It was good in knowing that we left there with the knowledge of what it was, but sad because we don't know why. Good knowing that we still have a positive future to look forward to, but heartbreaking to know that we will always be missing one perfectly healthy baby boy. We left there with a good sense of closure for the situation, and we praise God for that. Now we can focus on healing our hearts and our sweet J.David!

J.David

This post is about J.David. It's been a while since I posted about him. He is really growing into this amazing little boy! He understands so much and even though most of what he says is in a language i have never heard before, he is really trying to talk to us. He is so full of love and joy. There is not a day that goes by where I don't laugh at something he does or smile because even though he may not say the words "I love you" he will do something to make sure I know he does. That's not to say we don't have fits...screaming and throwing himself on the floor are part of his new fit-ness program, but he full of more good days than bad ones. He has no idea what has been to me lately. He always knows when to bring us a smile and cheer us up. We are so thankful for him and his ability to bring so much light to such a dark time. Thank you, God, for my precious J.David. I know HE is working through my son to help give me the strength to move forward. Here are some cute pics of the last week of so...

Playing with his new dump truck and wearing Daddy's hat. Couldn't take it off of him!

Helping Daddy and Jay Pops roll out mommy's new rug. Pics of new Living Room coming soon!
Scraping his "cleats" in the Cardinal dugout! He put his Teddy Bear there to look outside with him. SOOO cute!! We tried to move the bear, and he kept putting it right back facing outside...ha ha ha.
Playing golf outside with Daddy. Here he is practicing his caddy skills.

For a quick update: We are doing really good and are so grateful for all the cards, calls, prayers, and encouragement. We are so blessed to have such an amazing support system. We buried Alexander last Thursday with a small private graveside service. It was so beautiful and his location is perfect. Please just continue to pray for us as we continue to heal and also for my Dr. visit on Friday. We are going to find out the results of the tests that they ran on both Alexander and myself to help solve this mystery. There is a significant chance that there will be no findings and we are simply going to have to accept that this was a "fluke" type of situation. Please pray that we are accepting of whatever we find out. Thank you!!

Before the Storm...(lots of pics)

The week before we lost Alexander we had a wonderful mini-vacation with J.David. We went down to Orlando to see Morgan and spent 5 days there with him. It was so wonderful to enjoy some warm weather and take it easy! We got there on a Wednesday and found out that Morgan was actually going to get Thurs and Friday off...A four day weekend!! woo hoo!! We went to a Braves spring training game, Seaworld, and best of all Magic Kingdom. We had a blast!! Sadly the last day we were there Morgan and I caught a bug and didn't leave the hotel room. It was sad, but luckily it was only a 24 hour thing and we were fine by flying home time. Here are some fun pictures from our trip. Enjoy!!

Reunion Dinner with Daddy at Jason's Deli

Braves Game @ Disney! Full of hotdog eating, smiles, and J.David screaming "GO GO GO!!"

Seaworld! This day trip was more for mom and dad but JD really enjoyed Shamu's show and the dolphins. Daddy loved the rollercoaster!

Of all the fun places we went JD LOVED the playground at the hotel best! ha ha. It doesn't take much to make them happy at this age!

Magic Kingdom! We took the ferry over, met Pluto, Buzz lightyear, mickey and minnie. We had so much fun and although he wouldn't smile for the camera almost all day JD loved every min of it! (except for maybe the characters.) His favorite rides were Dumbo and Small World. At least someone likes Small World. ha ha. He also really enjoyed the parade that night. I just wish he would have embraced his Mickey ears. We had to distract him with ice cream for that picture.

Of course we have to wear our new Mickey sunglasses home!

Thank you is not enough...

Morgan, J.David, and I just wanted to thank everyone for all your sweet comments, flowers, meals, calls, and especially your prayers. The support and love we have received has been such a blessing to us all. And I mean it when I say that we feel the effects of all those prayers. God has wrapped his loving arms around us at this time and we know through Him we will make it through this. J.David has been amazing medicine for us over the past few days as well. He has been even more of a comedian than usual leaving us no choice but to smile and laugh, and always seems to know the perfect time to give us hugs and kisses. He will never know what he has done for his mom and dad by simply being a precious toddler. Thank you again and we will continue keeping you all updated. We love you all!!

Alexander Morgan Trotter

Tonight I am sad to share that last night 3/3/09 at 11:56 pm our sweet baby boy came into this earth for a short period of time. He weighed 3 oz and was 6 inches long. So small, yet so beautiful!! He blessed us with his presence for nearly an hour before going to meet Jesus. We named him Alexander Morgan and it suited him to a tee. He was a true fighter til the end, a true miracle.

To answer some of your questions:
I had been having some spotting for a little over a week but was in contact with the doctors and the hospital. I had been checked out two times, one of which being yesterday morning. We had an ultrasound where Alexander looked so strong and healthy and was moving like crazy. That is when we learned he was a he and that he actually measured big! We left with a great piece of mind and went home to relax. Sadly, that evening things took a turn for the worse and i realized quickly that the cramps i had been feeling were actually contractions. Within an hour of being at the hospital and hoping for the best my water broke and we knew our time with him on earth was going to be limited. Morgan quickly scheduled a flight home from Orlando, FL and arrived this morning. Things went as well as can be expected for this situation. We were blessed with great nurses, doctors, and especially family and friends to support and love us. Thank you everyone for all your thought and prayers. We were able to say goodbye to our precious Alexander this morning and despite the tragedy and heartache we are determined to make a positive impact out of his short life. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Love always, The Trotters